Sunday, June 20th, 2010
Issue: 33   Editor: HowlingMadMika

Delicious Thoughts DeliciousX

Do YOU thank people for busting you out?

I am useless at busting. I mean useless. 236 failed attempts, 9 successful, and most of those in the past couple of days. If this were real life, the authorities would have pitied me so much they'd have let me take one of the prisoners home.

Of the lucky 9 that I DID manage to break out, almost all of them sent me a message a few minutes later, thanking me for my efforts; for if I had done nothing, they would have been stuck in that cell for a whole 2 minutes.

The fact that they thanked me, arouses my curiosity a little. What did I do? Really? I mindlessly clicked the 'Bust' option, assuming I would get caught and sent to jail myself, all to get exp. I don't care if you guys rot in jail. I don't care if your cellmate is Gregory '18-inch-wong' Smith.

And it's certainly no big deal. I mean, it was to me; successful busts are few and far between. Whenever it happens, I jump for joy, and Bootleggers becomes a funhouse of '' smileys. All because of a simple little 'Bust' button.

I didn't stake out the jail beforehand. I didn't slip laxatives into the guard's coffee, hack the alarm system, sleep with the warden. All I did was click the button of my mouse. Twice.

Starting out in the game, I practically lived in jail. How I could fail to beat up a blind man, I don't know, but it happened... and it happened a lot. I was going to jail faster than people could bust me. After a few half-hearted attempts at thanks, I lost interest. I'm not going to send 100 BMs a day, thanking random mouse-clickers.

I guess I thought that, later on, I WOULD start thanking these anonymous heroes, once jail started becoming less a second home and more like a trip to the dentist. But with the new crime system, a new crime option is available whenever I rank up. A whole new money-stealing opportunity for me to suck at.

I've finally come to the conclusion that jail will always be a second home to me. If it isn't a new crime that's guaranteed to fail, it's my OWN failed bust attempts, car thefts, organised crimes, booze smuggling. Jail will never become a once-in-a-blue-moon experience.

I will NEVER get around to thanking each buster personally. All I can offer them is this article.

So, to the elite jail-busting minority, for all my past, present, and future misdemeanours, I thank you for saving me precious few seconds... so that I may carry out further misdemeanours.

To the jail-busters!