Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Issue: 11   Editor: Joke


Afty Investigates Afty



Last Sunday after the weekly Buzz issue was published an anonymous reader (Che) messaged me with an interesting proposition for an article. He made a bold claim and I felt that it was my duty as a Buzz writer to investigate – so much so that I started a whole new column called ‘Afty Investigates’. The claim is indeed a bold one and that claim is as follows: “i suggest u write about the rip off that BSF is doing, when u buy gold with ur money, u do not win anythin at gambling, not a chance.”



Sure, you might already be thinking that this is no more than non-sense, a complete and utter crackpot idea, pure bullshit straight from the cow (or bull if you prefer) or possibly just a crazy conspiracy theory.

But I ask you this, friends and readers, have you ever gambled and lost all of your cash and then thought “this cannot be right!” Is there something more sinister going on? Well, be prepared to find out. I got on the phone to NASA and they sent me some super science equipment for my super scientific tests. This equipment is exactly what you need when looking into conspiracy theories – or as they are known in Latin: conspirious theorious.

I tried the equipment in a real life scenario and it told me that planes are actually flown by robots and have been for years. That’s why nobody is allowed in the cockpit anymore. WHAT! I know right. The voice of the pilot that you hear over the speaker system is actually a recording that is the same on all flights. I heard that they got Tim Allen to do the voice – now he gets free flights to anywhere (except Alaska and Hawaii).

Anyway, I tried this super science equipment on this Bootleggers theory and it found a very convincing piece of code from the Bootleggers site. This is 100% genuine as stated in the image, have a look for yourselves:



If that doesn’t constitute proof then I don’t know what does. Ask the admin to prove me wrong and they’ll say no. Why? Because I’m right! We’re being conned my friends. BSF is in cahoots with the casino owners. When you buy gold with real life cash, exchange that gold for cash and then decide to gamble, you will always lose it all because the code is against you! I’m sure that some of you cynical people out there are thinking “maybe these guys are just plain awful at gambling?” My answer to that is: GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! I bet you all of my gold that England will win the world cup! We’re amazing gamblers that are being screwed over by the system, man! We’re not going to stand for it anymore!

I think we can safely say that this case has been closed.

Signing out: Inspector Afty


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