Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Issue: 11   Editor: Joke


Joke's Weekly Jokes Joke

Chinese food to go: $11.67
Gas to pick it up: $2.43
Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: riceless

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know, and I don't care.

Beautiful Girl: "Do you want to go out on a date?"
Me: *sweats nervously*
Me: I C-CAN'T
Her: "Why?"
Me: *shoots random player on the Users Online page*
Me: I HAVE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S FUNERAL

Just saw a shooting star. The crime in this galaxy is getting out of hand.

Good cop/bad cop interrogation:
*good cop is nice to the suspect*
*bad cop shoots good cop and sets suspect free*
man, he's a bad cop

A couple years ago, I tried on my sister's bra. I couldn't undo the clasp and I was too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm still wearing it. I live in shame.

Beef Stroganoff is probably the best food that also sounds like a masturbating cow.

According to a new study I just made up, 90% of women who wear yoga pants don't do yoga. Congruently, 100% of straight men don't care 99% of the time.
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