Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Issue: 13   Editor: Joke


Editors note Joke

Hello Everyone! It is my honor of presenting to you this wonderful, thirteenth issue of The Bootleggers Buzz!


Did you know that "Triskaidekaphobia" is the fear of the number thirteen, and those that suffer from "triskaidekaphobia" avoid bad luck by keeping away from anything numbered or labelled thirteen? Well, here we are! Thirteen Buzz issues have now been published! Maybe after reading this, you should avoid the casinos?

I'd like to start off with something I've followed my predecessors on equally as effectively and sound like a broken record for a moment, thank you for reading the Buzz and giving us a purpose in life, but we are in desperate need of more writers! Don't let this feature go the way of Bootcast! The Buzz is something that lasts forever, you will be able to google our articles til the end of time, or until the zombie apocalypse, whichever comes first, and look back on these days with fondness and remember where you were, what you were doing, and who you were planning on killing. Please, consider joining our team and become a Buzz DJ! We're a great group of people and I promise you'll have a lot of fun as you help to contribute to the presentation of a wonderful feature to the community! As well, please don't hesitate to leave us feedback, ideas for future articles, suggestions for improvement, a freelance article, or an application!

Okie doke, on to the nitty gritty of what's happened this week! The Naked Angels are no longer naked or angels as they fall, Tyn, Zey, Ascension and Claartje take advantage of the halved timer day on Sunday during the World Cup Final and fill up the State Don spots, and we see the round eight record lottery jackpot. In addition to the usual feature update suggestions, there have been an influx in those pertaining to get some action going as players are beginning to demand blood in anticipation of the future! For now, it's quiet, but soon The Buzz will be writing in remembrance of these days, the calm before the storm, so cherish your life as it is now, and let's all sit back, (probably die a few times) and watch!

For now, my fellow players, I wish you the best of luck as you read through our brief thirteenth issue! The entire Buzz team has had a full schedule this week, and regrets the inability to cover the dozen articles we wanted to. We'll have a bigger issue for you next week, but today, enjoy reading a little interview with some of the State Dons, ReJestration holds a little competition and is giving away over 100 gold coins out of his pocket, and he also wrote quite the article on the record lotto jackpot. Coastie brings you Behind the Name, again, and I've provided all the weekly additions as FlameS is out of town for work.

Until next week, good luck!

Joke



The State Dons Joke

The States page has filled up, and we sit down with the State Dons!

Read the entire article...


Buzz's Busting Biography Bout! ReJestration

Hey! You! Want to win some gold? Well we're giving some away!

Read the entire article...


Behind The Name! CoastieII

Want to find out a little more about the Mafioso's around you? Ever wonder why someone choose their name? Or more importantly, what the best sandwich of all time is? Take a peek "Behind The Names" with me, and I'll show you.

Featured this week
Sabotage || Hazeman || KawhiLeonard



Read the entire article...


Once Upon a Time Joke

A nostalgic travel back through time with the Buzz!

Read the entire article...


Obituaries Joke

The Grave Digger Gets No Vacation...

Read the entire article...


 
Ticket 43892 for $38,163,500 please! ReJestration

No one has been so happy to see that yellow "Congratulations" as much before, with so much on the line!

Read the entire article...


Join Us in Smurf Village!!!! Joke


Scroll through past issues some time! ShyGuy was pretty awesome...


Joke's Weekly Jokes Joke

I'll suicide if you don't laugh once this week! Or next week, next week's are pretty funny...

Read the entire article...


Game Statistics Joke

A look at the weeks statistics and how they've changed since last week...

Read the entire article...


Pick Up That Blue Coat! Joke



The Weekly Flash Joke




Don't want to read all the articles or you only want to read a small overview of what happened this week? Well, we give to you, The Weekly Flash! Here are this week's main stories:


  • OC and Travel timers were halved and players received Double XP on Sunday to help players out as everyone had their attention diverted away from the game temporarily while to watch Germany win the World Cup.

  • Naked Angels are wiped from the stats!

  • Tyn, Zey, Ascension and Claartje fill up the State Don spots!

  • Caboose updates crews so that bosses can donate to their crews, cuts down the number of gang spots to ten, and adds crew colors to the State Don spots on the States page.

  • VooDooDoll dusts off her green jacket as she resumes her role as Moderator much to the pleasure of the players!

  • As a result of Darren promoting the lottery on the game forum, 152,654 tickets were sold causing the jackpot grow to a Round 8 record of $38,163,500! Truly an exciting "Congratulations!" message to receive!

  • It was requested it be noted that KawhiLeonard started a fun party with the Michigan Blackjack table that lasted over five hours where players would raise the max bet to unlimited, and lose it before eventually winning it back again. Many players participated in the party and won the table multiple times, and many more lost it even more. Some left the party happy while other left a little sad.

  • The Buzz presents "The Bootleggers Organized Crime Records of the Week!"
    That's right! Each week we will update you with the Organized Crime payouts!

    Although the Editors do really enjoy hearing of your record-breaking OC they weren't invited to, we already knew what you were going to make off with before you did, so you don't need to brag, just so you know...


  • The grand total of all Organized Crimes players commited this week that Spartacus earned 4% of came up to a whopping: $396,638,376

    The most any four individuals were lucky to see from a One Car Organized Crime was: $892,973
    The average from all the vaults we robbed from One Car Organized Crimes was: $289,450
    Four unlucky players saw a tiny vault of only: $44,781

    Looy999 messaged the Editor to inform him he hadn't been invited to the Two Police Car Bank Robbery he had organized, and for some reason, banks always magically have more money as soon as two police cars pull up, and his team made off with an impressive $1,020,870. But did anyone steal any more?! The most stolen in a Two Car OC this week was:$1,020,870
    On the other end of the scale, when two Duesenbergs pull up to a bank, players that participated in a Two Car Organized Crime made off with an average of: $492,587
    Were there any players brave enough to try out two Starpegasus cars? Well if so, they got away with the least anyone robbed in a Two Car Organized Crime this week and stole: $347,880

    Did the banks listen when SammyBoy stepped up and told them to carry more in their vaults? Well, for his efforts, he got a cool 3% cut of: $274,786
    In TayZ's Great Lake state, (note, not "Great Bank State," ) the banks gave out an average of: $285,653
    Kingofdeath hung out at the beach while players stole from his banks an average of: $293,416
    As the King of the Empire State, Zey bought booze and celebrated with his share of: $309,278
    Ascension climbed to the top of Mt. Elbert and screamed throughout the mountains that everyone must give him his hard earned respects of: $300,635
    Besides selling bullets, Tyn sat back finally to relax and collected from players who stole an average of: $297,819
    As the last to join the group, Claartje resumed her State Donness duties and counted up her cut of: $330,618
    Friction probably made more from bust parties, but he still saw some from average OCs in his state coming up to a regretful: $278,318
    Evisu saw most of his players leaving his state with booze for Friction's, but those that stayed to rob his banks made him a cut of: $279,815


Last Week's Buzz Issue Word Cloud Joke


I'll let this one speak for itself...


Player Submissions Joke



True to Life RatFaceRay_



I have a feeling... wutwut


...that this cartoon just might need to be in the Buzz


The Smurfs Joke



Editors
Joke
FlameS

Buzz Writers
Afty
Coastie
ReJestration


Corrections Joke

Sometimes the Buzz does make a mistake, but we're working to fix it!

Read the entire article...




Past issue
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, Round 5, Round 6, Round 7