Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Issue: 13   Editor: Joke


Ticket 43892 for $38,163,500 please! ReJestration

At 4:00PM on the 19th of July, one member of Bootleggers became $38 million richer, plus change. It was by far the largest payout the lottery has seen so far this round! This Buzz writer was fortunate enough to get a chance for a quick interview with the winner before he went on a mass gambling spree spanning nine states!

After sifting through a couple of false claims, one name came up, Sifaz, to be the true multi-million dollar winner. With photographic evidence and a large increase in wealth he was able to convince The Buzz of his authenticity.

So, what did the man with the money have to say? To begin with, he was asked how many tickets he purchased.
“I bought exactly 90 tickets. Would of been 100 if I had enough cash on hand but being on my phone and lazy I did not withdraw any more.”
Had any of tickets 91-100 that Sifaz did not buy been the winning ticket, it’s probably safe to assume that he would have been more that a little annoyed.

With 152,654 tickets having been sold, Sifaz had less than a 0.0006 percent chance of winning! So, with such slim odds, did he have any expectations of winning?
The answer was a resounding no as “I did not expect to win as I have not entered the lotto in many years,” he said, looking rather pleased “I was happy to win of course, but now I fear I will gamble it away and use it irresponsibly!”
Sifaz has now invested in a large sum of gold, which will hopefully keep the gambling fear at bay, yet The Buzz has heard no news as to whether he will provide any donations! (We are, of course, joking).

Sifaz was asked if he wished to remain anonymous, however;
“Nah, I am not too bothered. With these big mouths I presume loads already know as I am getting begged from! Sell me some gold though please.” It was with regret that he was informed of a personal lack of gold, and that which is in this Buzz writer’s possession is reserved for various Buzz-related competitions.
As a finally question, Sifaz was asked, if the money and lottery was real, what would be high up on his purchase list?
“A massive house and kit it out with Gaming PCs and turn in to a social recluse!” He said with a massive thumbs up. Not a bad decision, though he may still have a few million left over, one for The Buzz too, perhaps?

The Buzz also feels that a special mention should go to Darren for helping to make the thirtieth lottery draw grow to become so large with his creation of the topic “Everyone buy a lottery ticket!” in the Game Forum. Hopefully this trend of high lottery rewards will continue after this, and maybe, just maybe, Bootleggers will reach Darren's target of $50 million!!

Finally, to round it all off, a little conversation that The Buzz discovered inside the topic;
MrMeeseeks “Hey, Sifaz, where'd you get all that I. Rich?”
Sifaz “Been I. Rich for about a week now. Had a keno and sold it”
Darren “Did you win?”
Sifaz “No? I last took part about 5 years ago and I won about 3 mill”

Telling lies, Sifaz? You didn’t really think that The Buzz would miss that, did you?


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