|Sunday, August 10th, 2014
|Joke's Weekly Jokes
|My jokes are admittedly quite embarrassing this week, but luckily I may just get by with a little help from my friends!
I hate it when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". There so stupid.
Girl! You're like my credit card bill, cuz when you're 90 days late I stop answering the phone
My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree.
New Parent Idea:
1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest.
2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10
Roses are red, violets are made of toast, I did too many mushrooms, my wheelbarrow is a time machine.
Jesteros contributed with:
Over 250 parasites and 40,000 bacteria are transferred in a typical French kiss. However, these numbers are decreased in other countries where people shower and don't eat rotten cheese and snails.
There once was a lad named Claud
Who once got incredibly bored
He tried to make rhymes
Then realised he couldn't
So pretended the whole thing was one of those
non-rhyming poems instead.
Fire exit signs.....They're on the way out.
Sex toys are good, on the hole.
iPeracus went on a spree telling jokes! Best that were presented start off with:
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."
Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it?
A moron kept trying to shoot himself.
I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, "No, but I have done 53 - that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
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