Sunday, August 17th, 2014
Issue: 17   Editor: DirtyJoke

Buzz's Busting Biography Bout Winners! Jesterite

In Issue 13 The Buzz produced an article asking for entries into a story writing competition, “Buzz's Busting Biography Bout!” This article called for the Bootleggers community to put their brains into gear, and come up with the best stories that they could, related to being busted out of jail.

The number one position, and 100 gold coins, goes to Inky’s marvellous piece of literature;


Thanks for the bust. Finally I can breathe the sweet air of freedom.

Hey, you got a light? My first cigarette as a free woman. Oh, wait, you think I’m a hypocrite? Whatever, man. The first thing I got hooked on was nicotine, then it was crime.

I was just a peewee picking pockets in Dearborn when I met Tony. Must’ve seen my potential, shivering in a greatcoat and selling my stashes because in-between the long nights I joined the gang and then I never knew what it was like to go without. The excitement of the crimes and the celebrations after a successful jaunt were addictive.

The sweet taste of alcohol, the comfort of money and the lure of power.

In a crew, you only think of how you can benefit the team. You got to hone your skills, spot each other in the gym, look out for them on missions and take your straps if you fail. You talk to other crews, work out your alliances, build the respect. Maybe even become a Don.

“Inky, you got talent,” Tony said that fateful night, looking out the dusty window of our crew gym after a heavy boxing round “want to try leading?”

“What the – Tony – I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for 7 weeks, since we started this game!” I laughed, taking a slug of distilled moonshine.

He grinned. “Attagirl. That’s it then, assassin, let’s make you a boss.”

That night, my head spinning with the hooch, I lay awake thinking of the heist. Bennie’s auto sales – maybe I
could get us a Duesy for the next crime.

Hopefully two.

We snuck out early, me and two crew members – Thatch and Dave - and all was going well. The poor locks on the auto sales shop were child’s play and I deftly snapped the chains and with a squeal the door rolled open to reveal two beautiful Duesy’s and the most cherished orchid of all: a Mercedes.

I stalked into the office, taking two sets of keys and chucking one at Thatch.

“What’s eating you? Get the hell in there and get in the sodding Duesy; I’ll get the other“

Thatch hesitated, eyeing the Mercedes greedily.

“I gotta bad feeling about that Mercedes,” I said, “don’t touch it and let’s go. The plates are too hot on that Benz!”

“Sure, sure,” he muttered, “sure, boss”

With Dave on lookout, we started the engines and began driving the babies out the door, when as I reached the front
gate I couldn’t hear the other car.

I turned round “Thatch!” I yelled.

But the car was empty; Dave was nowhere to be seen as lookout.

The Mercedes thundered past, Thatch tipped his hat as he opened the engine up and revved it hard, the stick shift clearly being worked by a master as he zoomed ahead.

I could hear the bleat of Police Cars as I got myself in gear and slammed the car back to the hideout.

I stalked into the office right as Tony T slapped Thatch on the back.

“A Mercedes, my boy!” he cried, providing Michigan’s finest cognac in a crystal glass to this bozo, one for himself in the same measure. “Salute!”

“We will have company soon enough,” I muttered, “he left it outside for all to see. It only takes a snitch a minute to sing to the Police that we stole her.”

“Enough! Paranoid Inky!” Tony T smiled, “it was a successful op-“

But as he spoke I saw Thatch looking out of the window nervously.

“Tony, we got to get you out of here-“ I cried, as the first bullet ricochets into the room.

I hear the sound of breaking glass, and see the cognac filled glass spill as Tony clutched his chest, red blossoming out.

My eyes feel hot, I twitch and break into a run as the bullets fly past. I run into strong arms and fight and bite but that’s it; I’m cornered and I’m arrested, gauze in my mouth and handcuffs around my wrists.

All I can think of is Thatch, and revenge.

It was a horrific few days in prison; without cigs and without good food. Hurts without Tony too.

Michigan’s finest leaves me wanting, for sure. Then you arrived, Ironmilla, and talked to me about a bust out. Clever, to convince the guards that your threatening status would result in bloodshed for the force if they ever tried to pin a crime on a Haze Blazer. I was lucky to be around.

So, now, what’s for me?
Well, on the back of this cigarette packet I got a number; Tony’s Swiss account.

And I’m still just an assassin. Maybe Thatch will help me out on that score, hmm?

Clearly an excellent piece of imagination, so The Buzz asked her all about it;
“I had quite a few ideas for how I wanted to get caught and put in jail, but I went with this one as I think I was stuck in the final mission and it was on my mind”, Inky then went on to give a couple more ideas that she had, but in case another competition like this occurs The Buzz didn’t want to give too much away, “I was reminded when I read the rules that I needed to keep it clean, so that was tricky - and channelling my 1920's vernacular!”

Next this Buzz writer was interested in how long it too to create, and to write, “It took me about an hour to write, overall, that's not me lying - I love creative writing and I thought this was a different kind of competition to the usual BL events that may have had a chance of doing well in - so when I focused on what I wanted to write it just flowed.”

Finally, Inky was asked what the most difficult, and most enjoyable, parts of writing her entry, “Well, the most difficult was keeping it succinct, which I think I failed at, lol, and the most enjoyable was throwing myself a little bit into my BL character and imagining what would I do if Tony T died and I would never get an update telling me I had ranked? Imagine?!!”

Furthermore, Inky expressed interest in another competition like this happening again. The Buzz would like to host another one, if it got more interest and entries that this one managed.

The other entry, and deserving of second place, goes to SniperWolfII;

Thanks man for busting me out of that hell hole! The cops must of been informed by Frank Pentangeli! They knew when I was showing up and what car I was in.. The rat bastard! We all thought he was dead but he must of been in hiding with the FBI they don't call him Frankie "Five Angels" for no reason. Must have been trying to keep me quiet about the Rosata Brothers, the capo doesn't want a war to interfere with an upcoming deal that he had going.

So, naturally, The Buzz got to interviewing him too! “I decided that I wanted to take part when I saw the article in The Buzz, then when I got down to writing it I was flooded with ideas” SniperWolfII said, “my first idea was Frankie Five Angels which is based on “The Godfather” movies from there I looked into his background trying to incorporate as much as possible so it came in a nice and orderly fashion once I had my starting point”

Of course, taking inspiration isn’t a bad thing, and The Buzz would highly recommend, in the case of any future competitions, that if you’re stuck, a little help at the beginning can go a long way! Though, obvious plagiarism should be avoided.

SniperWolfII also said that he had to “leave it and come back to it and change it making sure I have the right story and where I want it to be”, which is also an excellent idea (I hope you’re taking notes!). SniperWolfII also shares a couple of traits with this Buzz writer as well, in the fact that “The most difficult part for me is the grammar usually that's what takes me the time, however the most enjoyable part is seeing it finished and trying to portray something that is well known”. Grammar, this writer’s bane too, but damn is it worth it when you see the finished product!

The Buzz would like to extend it’s thanks to both Inky and SniperWolfII for their entries into this competition!

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