Sunday, November 4th, 2007
Issue: 47   Editor: Nyxxiekins


Bootleggers Official Encyclopedia OneAndOnlyE
Tens of thousands of people have registered to Bootleggers this round, and despite all their differences through culture, religious beliefs and raising, we can see huge similarities, and now we can also define and categorize these players. This week, E tries to explain the difference between forum whores and wannabe-HDOs, as well as answer that one question you all want the answer of. So with no further ado: Bootleggers’ First Official Encyclopedia!


Forum Whore:
The Forum Whore (Forum meretricis) is a rare sight these days, and true whores are among the most known of all players on Bootleggers. The average male can be up to 7 ft. in length, and with an insatiable appetite for idiocy and complete randomness. The record-sized forum whore is a debatable one, but most signs (according to the Bootleggers’ Buzz last award ceremonies) is Sean, more commonly known as Sean. This is debatable, as some argue there are forum whores who have been spewing complete and more idiocy far before Sean even knew about Bootleggers. The female forum whore is generally less moronic than her male counterpart, and less enthusiastic to post complete asininity on the forums.
The forum whore may be related to the wannabe-HDO and the complete idiot(will be further explained next week), but this is not the case with every forum whore. Its range extends from the Crew Forum to the Off Topic Forum. Forum whores are not to be found on the Classifieds, as they’ll get banned faster than Dida can fall after he gets pushed by a Celtic supporter (Ergo within 5 seconds).

Wannabe-HDO:
The Wannabe-HDO (Forum cupiditas) is a more common sight in the forums, as they’re so full of themselves they will literally wait years before an administrator acknowledges them and gives them the promotion they think they deserve. The average male is characterised by his complete lack of humour, and his excessive knowledge of forum etiquette. He may also be recognised for being completely paradoxical, as he doesn’t always keep to the rules himself. If one threatens you he’ll mute you, don’t be alarmed: the wannabe-HDO has no real powers apart from the power to whine and kiss up to the Staff. This behaviour is called hypocritical in layman’s terms, and means that the person in question is an idiot. The record-sized wannabe-HDO is once again Sean, which only fortifies the connection between forum whores and their supposed nemesis. Sean shows it’s easy to be both, without being a walking paradox.

The wannabe-HDO may be related to the forum whore, and must NOT be mistaken with true HDOs (will be further explained next week), who have a distinct yellow color, and have distinct HDO powers (powers the wannabe-HDO can only dream of). Its range extends from the Game Forum to the Off Topic Forum, however one has more chance of finding one in its natural habitat, the Game Forum, being a nuisance to innocent players in general.

Now we’ve established there is indeed a connection between the forum whore and the wannabe-HDO, there is still one question which remains to be answered: Who would win in a fight to the death?

The Ultimate Battle
Now, encounters in the wild between these species are scarce, but when they happen, it is certain to be epic. While a wannabe-HDO may stun a forum whore by blatantly repeating every forum rule non stop, a forum whore may escape from this headlock by attacking the wannabe-HDO’s credibility and his aspirations, claiming he’ll never be promoted to HDO. If the wannabe-HDO takes the bait, he will end up being speechless and probably running home crying to mommy. This attack may be countered by the wannabe-HDO by reporting the forum whore for harassment. This is, however, the wussy’s way out. But then again, wannabe-HDOs are mostly wussies. Odds are 2/1 a forum whore will win, against 10/1 a wannabe-HDO will win.

There you have it. The first encyclopedic description of characters living deep in the realms of the online text-based game that is Bootleggers. Until next time, au revoir and tschüss. Next week: complete idiots, HDOs, AND Grammar Nazis have a 3 way battle to the death? Who will win, who will perish? Read it all in Bootleggers’ next Buzz issue!