Sunday, September 21st, 2008
Issue: 92   Editor: NYX2000


Forum Whoring for Dummies Lyrixia
Forum whoring is, by far, the most competitive aspect of Bootleggers, as we are all aware. After joining for just over a month, I've managed to piss off around 8 players, but made a fair few friends using this method. What are my secrets I hear you ask? Well, I hope here I can highlight how to effectively whore a forum, so that you too one day may be be as notorious as me*!

*This is a fake statement. So don't message me being Captain-freakin'-Obvious, mmkay?

Step One!
Ensure that you have a reliable internet connection. This may sound simple, but as I have found out to my disadvantage, keeping those noobs at bay requires precise timing with your posts. A faster internet connection shall prevail in many circumstances. It also helps with FTP topics!

Step Two!
Check any topic that interests you. Many players are now posting casino wins as the title header, with a FTP hidden inside! How naughty! It may be beneficial to check every topic, you never know what you could find. P.s. Refer to Step One.

Step Three!
A picture paints a thousand words. Images can make a dull topic amazing. Many forum whores tend to have a good idea of which image to use at which time, which brings me on to the next step...

Step Four!
Ensure you have a good compilation of images to post for each occasion. LOLCATS are a good source here, as there's one for almost any occasion. But don't forget to venture outside the world of the Cheezburger site, as there are many funny images to be found elsewhere.

Final Step!
Coherant English. There is nothing more self-pwning than trying to insult someone's intelligence, when you tyle like a giraffe. This step doesn't really apply to those who don't wish to insult others, but as any good forum whore knows, those forums get rather boring without insults being slung.

That concludes my relatively short guide on forum whoring! I've had to leave out the elite secrets of some. I'm afraid that "Mr. E" did not want his techniques revealing for fear of an uprising.
Thank you Bootleggers!

Now go forth: http://www.bootleggers.us/forum_other/index.php