Sunday, July 4th, 2010
Issue: 35   Editor: HowlingMadMika


Delicious Thoughts DeliciousX
Last week it occured to me how pointless the options for Organised Crimes are.

Think about it- always the same setup. One guy purchases 1 Thompson, another gets a Professional Lockpicking Kit, and the driver will be kicked out for using anything less than a Phaeton.

I remember the days when the weapons expert would buy 4 Thompsons. And Equipment Expert? What the heck is that?! In the good old days, it was Explosives Expert. Over time, users have figured out that buying 1 Thompson, and using an Equipment Expert rather than an Explosives Expert- the EQE costing less money than the EE- doesn't affect the payout a huge amount.

Organised Crimes are thought to have been perfected. Nobody even looks at the other options available to them. Who's going to buy a Highstandard .22 for their OC? Nobody.

But I thought to myself, maybe these options have been horribly neglected. Maybe they're like the new kid in class. Nobody talks to him because he seems shy and nerdy... but if you just give him a try, he could be funny, charming, own a Ferrari, and be a beast in the bedroom.

What would an OC with the worst equipment actually be like? A dangerous thing happened- I started organising.

I messaged KluKluxKlere, asking him if he'd be interested in joining an OC which may or may not be successful. Like the excited, slightly foolish puppy that he is, he said yes.

Needing another volunteer, I turned to the lovely Firiel, who was intrigued. She said that in 151 Organised Crimes, this would be her first fail. But, her curiousity aroused, she agreed, provided she could lead the Organised Crime.

We waited until the following morning, before travelling to Pennsylvania- a notoriously bad state for Organised Crimes in that OC's here usually give the worst payouts. Firiel started handing out the invites.

Like every user, I never keep a stolen Starpegasus, so had to buy one. Not many Starpegasus's are sold, naturally... I bought the cheapest one on the page, which came to $5000. The second cheapest was $100,000.

DrNA became our Equipment Expert, who purchased a basic lockpicking kit. KluKluxKlere pushed the boat out with a single Highstandard .22. We were ready.



Our ranks at the time:
Firiel: Don
DrNA: Boss
DeliciousX: Godfather
KluKluxKlere: Respectable Boss


The Starpegasus looked alien on the OC page. And I'm sure it was difficult for the others to not automatically, mindlessly buy the best equipment, as they'd been doing for the past 50 OCs.

So, it was with some trepidation that Firiel pressed the button... "Commit Organised Crime!"

Lo and behold:



Not a bad payout at all. Ok, so Firiel said she normally get's around $350,000... but considering we thought the Organised Crime would fail, we were elated. DrNA even ranked to Respectable Boss, so the experience gained must be pretty good!

All this time, we've assumed that the Organised Crime formula has been written. That there is nothing else to find out. Nothing else to experiment with.

But we've proved that using an aging, rusting Starpegasus, and using bicarbonate of soda and lemonade to blow the safe while you threaten the guard with a water pistol... works. We came out with a surprisingly good vault.

I like to think that this isn't the end of the experimenting... this is just the beginning. And to those that only use Duesenbergs in their OCs... I hope we've blown that theory wide open, just like we did the vault door.

Well, if you don't mind, I'm gonna head off. Me and the new kid in class are gonna go for a ride in my Starpegasus...