Sunday, August 8th, 2010
Issue: 40   Editor: HowlingMadMika


Mighty Dragons VS Mighty 1337 Guard! MarlonBrando
The fearsome roar of the mighty dragon as he breaths fire onto the men below. Once more the, statistics page of thee olde Bootleggers was filled with tyranny and terror. Who was the Dragons latest victim? Well the mighty 1337 Guard of course.

This week, the 1337 Guard were wiped by drunkwithagun and finished off by ex-nation Don Mikhael. When we asked 1337 Guard boss, NoEyedWillis, what he thought they were shot for, he told us, “its simple, we are too Leet for people to be able to cope with. if i had to sum up the reason in one word, i'd say "Jealousy". They are jealous of our sexy purple colour and the fact that David is so damn attractive he radiates a yellow glow irl.” However, as true as this statement may be, we needed a better answer, so we asked Willis again and he told us this time, “the specific reasons are known only by the shooters (if they read this, can you BM me please? coz we're kinda confused..), but in general terms it could be seen as a preliminary raid in preparation for the police raiding Himmels shag pad in search of mo' drugz.” Well, as you can see even the 1337 Guard themselves, the victims, do not know what why exactly they had been shot. The Buzz too was unable to find out, as unfortunately we were unable to get in touch with the shooters.

We then went on to ask NoEyedWillis if the 1337 Guard will be making a reappearance on the Statistics soon. He told us, “probably not tonight, or tomorrow night. We're rather busy atm drinking... but i guarantee we'll be back for some more purple penis eating at a latter date.” So for all you 1337 Guard fans out there, they will return at some point, not to worry. The Buzz would like to thank NoEyedWillis for all the great information, in return and as a thank you, he got his dragons beginning. We would also like to apologize for the lack of information from the side of the shooters. Unfortunately the Buzz was unable to contact them. Nevertheless, we wish the 1337 Guard best of luck and hope to see them soon.