Sunday, August 22nd, 2010
Issue: 42   Editor: SeanFailKnox


COLUMN: Delicious Thoughts KittehX
Everybody who plays Bootleggers will come across abbreviations; BL, OC, RL, BM and LGF to name but a few. I'm ashamed that I actually know what all of these abbreviations mean.

Everybody takes for granted that everyone else knows exactly what they're talking about when they speak in a series of letters. However, not everybody does and it can be the cause of many a misunderstanding.

I still remember when I first joined Bootleggers... some kind person had posted in the Off-Topic Forum the words "if anybody needs any money, just BM me." I bootmailed him, alright... I told him how sick he was, asking people for anal sex in exchange for money.

The poor blighter was very confused... but not as confused as I was. Unfamiliar with the Bootleggers dictionary, I thought he was offering money for people to BUM him. It was the internet equivalent of a granny complaining to the supermarket when it sells FCUK products to kids.

That was one, small, very straightforward abbreviation, which led to a lot of embarrassing exchanges before we both realised the mistake I had made. Imagine an instance where MULTIPLE abbreviations are used, and a newcomer reads it for the first time. What on earth would he make of THIS?

"BL: OC IN NV. LGF+ PLEASE. DR BUYS BF+. LOWER RANKS, STFU. BM ME."


I can only imagine what I, as a Bootleggers virgin, would make of that. Maybe I would translate it to this:

"Blue oak (specifically navy). Log off please. Doctor buys more than a boyfriend. Lower ranks, *sneezes*. Take me now."


This would have confused- not to mention worried- me, more than a little bit. I would wonder why this person wants blue wood to log off, and why the doctor was sneezing, and why that would turn him on.

But we NEED these abbreviations. I've lost count of how many times I've used the word 'abbreviations' in this topic alone. The word 'abbreviations' should itself be abbreviated... but then, why don't we abbreviate EVERY word with more than 3 syllables?

Oh, wait... some people already do. The Noobus Annoyingpha, for those who remember the Guide to the Lesser Spotted Forum Whore, "plz m8, wud u do an oc wiv me?"

O.M.G! Are abbreviations just an extension of the 'noob' language? Or is the 'noob' language an extension of abbreviations? Did the egg come first? Why did the chicken cross the road? Is there any connection between Roman roads and roamin' roads?

It's a scary thought. Maybe there's a bit of noob in all of us. Even the most persistent grammar-fanatic in the forums never fully writes out 'Organised Crime'.

Let's just hope they never abbreviate Slot Machines. A topic entitled 'Looking for S & M' might just be too much for newcomers to bare...