Sunday, September 19th, 2010
Issue: 46   Editor: xSean


Just a Column. Noir
The 'smiley' is a phenomenon that technophobes just don't get.

Facebook, MSN, and forums across the internet all give users the option of adding a smiley, or 'emoticon', in their replies. Bootleggers is no different, boasting quite a collection of smileys.

And I must say, these are my favourite smileys on the internet. There is no better embarrassed smiley than . No smiley more fun than . No smiley more versatile than .

The world seems to be divided into those who use smileys, and those who don't. I, for one, have withdrawal symptoms if I go too long without jamming... but I know of people who would rather chew their foot off than post even a simple ''.

Are smileys really needed? I mean, we all speak English. We all communicate through text. Do smileys offer any additional level of understanding? Why do I find myself ending every forum post with a smiley?

Why? Because it's funny. Ok, it isn't "ha ha" funny but I've giggled childishly a few times at things I've read in the forums... and most of those things have been accompanied with smileys. Smileys are care-free, smileys are fun. They soften the blow.

And I think they DO offer a deeper insight into the meaning of the message. Sarcasm can be portrayed more easily, as can the absence of sarcasm. A combination of words and smileys gives a fuller profile of the person and their attitude towards you or the subject.

Take this, for example:

"Shut up." Now, to me, that comes across quite harsh, quite sincere. Even with friends that I know, I would be feeling uncomfortable, unable to judge whether they mean what they're saying.

Now, add a smiley:

"Shut up. " Suddenly, it's warmer, more playful. Smileys make the world a nicer place.

Some people may not use smileys, but will constantly end their sentences with 'lol', or 'lmao'. This has the same, relaxing effect. A 'lol' or two massages the message... though its overuse makes you look a little retarded.

Moving on, I ask you... what ARE smileys? Why, they're little pictures of faces portraying various emotions!

In conversation, you don't maintain a blank face. People don't have the same face for funerals and weddings, parties and meetings, sex and babysitting (two words which really ought NEVER to be used in the same sentence). There may be anger, sadness, or excitement, but not blankness. We can't see each other on the internet. Smileys are the only way to replicate the visual side of social interaction and I think everyone should do it.

To be honest, that's the one complaint I have about some of the staff. If they jammed a little more, the number of criticisms about the game would plummet.

I dedicate this article to the beloved smiley. Without it, I genuinely don't believe I would still be here. That might sound ridiculous, but it's true.

Now... shut up.