Sunday, September 26th, 2010
Issue: 48   Editor: SeanGoesToUni


COLUMN: Just a Column. Noir
I haven't OC'd in weeks.

I think back to my previous accounts... I would OC every day, usually twice. I would do crimes every 2 minutes, have a go at stealing a car and busting, all the while training at arm wrestling every 10 minutes. In fact, if I spent the time actually working out my arms instead of clicking buttons... I could beat every one of you to a pulp.

I was getting bored of my previous account, logging on just once a day to rob a bank. When eventually that account was no more, I came back as Noir with a fresh enthusiasm... but not quite as fresh an enthusiasm as when I initially joined. With Noir, I had a go at criming and stealing cars... but I gave up WAY more quickly. Why? Because it's pointless. I'm in no hurry to rank. And if one organised crime is equivalent to 1000 beaten-up blind men, it just isn't worth the effort. Stick to OCs.

But even the OCs are boring me now. Somehow, I cannot muster up the energy to BM someone in the Classifieds, travel states, wait online until the whole affair is finished... I just don't see the point. We all know that soon enough I'll get bored and join a crew, which will remain on the stats for approximately 44 seconds before it- and Noir- are slaughtered in cold blood by some pre-pubescent nerd with more points than brain cells.

I fear that I will remain forever at the Thug rank. Until I die, of course... and the way things are going, I may well settle for the rank of scum. Which would mean, in a marvellous display of poetic justice, that I wouldn't be high-ranked enough to rate my own article!

I don't think it's necessarily a sign that Bootleggers is going downhill. Rather, I'm just reaching the end of my game.

I think we've grown to expect too much from Bootleggers. How many of you have a Playstation or Xbox? Nintendo DS? When you buy a game for a console, you expect it to last... what? 2 days? A week? A month? Why is it that when it comes to Bootleggers, you are expected to be entertained with new and exciting things indefinitely? Why do we accept that £30 games for consoles have an average life of roughly 10-12 hours, yet Bootleggers, a free game which you merely registered for, is expected to keep you happy until your dying day?

If this were Grand Theft Auto, I would have finished all the missions by now, and would be trying to entertain myself by driving around and killing people, deep down knowing that it just ISN'T THE SAME anymore. If this were Hitman, I'd be examining the body of my last victim, satisfied with my work but disappointed that the game has nothing else to offer me. If this were Bomberman, I would surround myself with bombs, with an insane look in my eyes, waiting for them to detonate.

The fact is, I've completed the game. Okay, I could aim to reach Nation Don, or kill a crew boss. But that would be the equivalent of wasting valuble time and resources to unlock some shitty artwork or medals which nobody apart from your bloodshot-eyed self ever gets to see.

So don't complain about the game. You enjoyed it while it lasted. All you can do now is wait for the expansion pack to come out.