Sunday, December 6th, 2009
Issue: 5   Editor: Mika


Solaris' Gossip Column Solaris
Oh the dramaaaaa.

Well I said I'd write something and I could write something serious but frankly... who gives a shit. Some people shot some other people, Omerta got upset because they were supposed to be skimming off the profits from TC's BF. TC supposedly gave their profits to TS (who I keep reading don't exist.... they're persistent fuckers for people who're figments of your imagination). Now Omerta only used one shooter and took down a few of TC (including Danek who cries almost as much as Lexia posts bollocks on the forum... I know it's hard to believe anyone can cry that much).

JDM made Don, not a lot that can be said about that. Congratz, you can spend lots of cash resetting repeatedly.

News just in... Buzz writers slagged off mercilessly. What's new frankly. I took a leaf out of their hardworking books and contacted no-one before I wrote this article and I made up many of the facts inside it. BSF is the mother of my lovechild and Lexxie won an award for her above average IQ.

My hint for the week - Lets be fair 95% of BL players are virgins, go re-roll a new account and pretend to be female. Get some porn from your obviously massive stash and tell the 15 yr olds you'll flash your nipples in return for cold hard cash. If you get in now you will be sickeningly rich in no time.

Player of the week - Puckers... Because anyone who has to remove pigsex photos from his
profile is worthy of beating other players who just are doing what the game expects of you.

BSF has been a busy landlord this week. He is foreclosing on Ragazzi Cativa for not paying their taxes. What the hell does Ragazzi Cativa mean anyway? Answers on the back of a SAE and send them somewhere... anywhere.
We have 30 crews now and the situation is so dire that some people can't even afford 150k a day. Do crimes.... Don't buy a crew. Problem solved.

Will the casinos ever make you any profit? Vegas wouldn't exist if BSF was working out the odds for it. Either that or the mob would have kneecapped him for giving all their money away. The house always wins, someone needs to tell BSF that.

When are they going to ban Christmas on BL by the way. I'm not a scrooge but getting your BM count up by sending out a Christmas message is just annoying. I don't like you, I don't want your Christmas wishes and tbh I hope some fat hairy man breaks into your house and rapes you in your sleep, then steals some milk and cookies and shoves a carrot up your dogs arse.

XDino banking and parking services has had his good name dragged through the mud. Apparently there is a clause in your contract when you oc with him or lend him cash and you're under a certain IQ (basically retarded) then he holds no responsiblity for stealing all your money.
We hope this treasure to the community can continue his good work for all of us and that these horrific rumours do not tarnish an already exemplary record.

Ok well that's all from me, I said I'd write an article for the buzz so you're free to slag this and me off. This also gives me the added benefit of slagging them off another week They just get to join in for once.

Disclaimer - The thoughts and feelings expressed in this article are the authors only and The buzz does not take responsibility for any offence caused. If you're offended by anything found within then you're an idiot, go press the suicide button.